Dead-Man's Turn, A Cincinnati Legend.

"Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire" (arch-duke-maxyenko) 08/02/2013 at 09:29 • Filed to: JIST School of health and safety

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This turn on Columbia Parkway U.S. 50 West is known to locals as dead-man’s turn. It is a decently sharp right-hander that has claimed countless numbers of cars, but why?

First, a basic overview of the road. The speed limit here is 45 mph, with a suggested speed of 35. There are 2 lanes with a barricade on the left and a retaining wall on the right with no shoulders. The road goes uphill, meanders slightly to the right and then the sharp, right, downhill, blind turn that is lightly banked and grooved for her pleasure traction. There are a couple of manhole covers in the left lane where the right wheels track.

All of this might sound a bit scary on paper but in reality it’s not bad at all. I could take it doing about 57 mph in clear traffic with my mom’s former Crown Vic (RIP you insanely fun dinosaur). In my 328i I can go even faster. However, the common Cincinnatian struggles with 30 mph, and every year there are a bunch of wrecks here as the scars on the wall show.

My way through the turn is as follows: maintain speed up to about 15 yards before the turn. Lift off the gas, don’t brake, start the turn, and back on the throttle just before the apex and carry through the exit. Loads of fun, no oversteer, no understeer, and most importantly no accident. Normal Cincinnatian: drive at normal pace up to the turn, start turning in, fucking put on the fucking binders now and take the turn around 30mph. This kind of behavior will often result in wrecking into the cars next to them and/or the walls.

The name Dead-man’s turn really ought to be named Dumbass’ turn. But, unfortunately this turn will continue to get the bad rep until we change the drivers’ ed programs to actually educate people how to Drive and not just drive.

Pabuuu, JDM car enthusiast & Italian parts hoarder > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 08/02/2013 at 09:35

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Why? Because it is a turn. And we all know American cars do not turn.

Meatstick62 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 08/02/2013 at 09:38

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I don't venture to the SE side of town too often but have drive that part of 50 once. I never considered it to be a turn warranting any special care. It doesn't surprise me that there are accidents there as it seems that a majority of people in this city are not qualified to be behind the wheel.

MonkeePuzzle > Pabuuu, JDM car enthusiast & Italian parts hoarder 08/02/2013 at 09:40

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don't turn... right

timateo81 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 08/02/2013 at 09:51

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Columbia Pkwy, though signed for 55mph, can be traveled safely at speeds much higher for 90% of highway. There are only a handful of intersections, let alone traffic signals, to present conflict.

Dead man's curve, when traveling westbound, catches you by surprise. It's geometry is uncharacteristic of contemporary analogues, and even of the previous sections you've already traveled. Downhill, decreasing radius turn with no visibility, narrow lanes, and no shoulders.

It's one of a handful of places in the region where full concentration is mandatory. I-75S to Hopple Street and I-471S to KY8 (Newport) also fall into this category. The latter 2 are in re-design right now and will be updated in the next few years. Columbia Pkwy, bound by the Ohio River to the South and the Cincinnati Hillside Trust to the North, doesn't really have a feasible re-design option - there's not enough room. From what I understand, at least.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > timateo81 08/02/2013 at 09:56

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It's only 55 for about a little bit out of Fairfax, a majority of it is only 45 mph even though most people drive about 55-75.

Casper > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 08/02/2013 at 10:03

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People are just terrible at driving and this is where Darwin has decided to try to catch them. There are several places like that in my state too, and even a couple of straights that seem to always have wrecks.

People just need to learn to drive. Rules mean nothing, skills mean everything.

Demon-Xanth knows how to operate a street. > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 08/02/2013 at 10:04

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DocWalt > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 08/02/2013 at 10:19

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Breaking is never a good thing to do. Especially not in a turn.

Braking on the other hand... ;)

ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable) > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 08/02/2013 at 10:26

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As Daytonian, I completely agree with your assessment of Cincy drivers' skill and awareness.

Not that Dayton is much better, but whenever I have to drive around Cincy I get nervous just thinking about it because no one is paying any attention, and everyone is blithely speeding along in what appears to be scrap-metal on bald tires.

Or there's the other end of the spectrum which is the super-luxo barges whose driver's obviously feel more important than anyone else and drive like they personally own every square inch of asphalt.

Colin Leslie > ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable) 08/02/2013 at 11:00

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I can attest to this. I recently moved near Cincinnati from Akron, and whenever anyone asks me about the area the first thing that I always mention is how bad people seem to drive.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > DocWalt 08/02/2013 at 11:12

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Better?

DocWalt > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 08/02/2013 at 12:21

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Much. It's one of my pet peeves.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > DocWalt 08/02/2013 at 12:22

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Blame spell check.

DocWalt > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 08/02/2013 at 12:26

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Fair enough. Spell check doesn't understand grammar very well yet.

desertdog5051 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 08/02/2013 at 13:00

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There is a crosstown expressway I take often (Paseo del Norte to you that live here) Where is goes back to a regular road, there is a curve and the amount of tire marks on the Jersey barrier that divides each side always amazes me. How do people do that stuff?

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > desertdog5051 08/02/2013 at 13:02

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SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman > DocWalt 08/02/2013 at 18:21

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That wasn't a grammar fail... It was more of a vocabulary fail

Noroxus > ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable) 08/03/2013 at 05:00

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It probably doesn't help that the roads in Cincinnati are the worst roads...probably in the country? I know they're far worse than NY...where we have proper roads. Hell, Canada has better roads.

As a NY'r who moved to Cincinnati...I can also say that the drivers in Ohio are all terrible. It never ceases to amuse me to watch Ohio people try to park, or even leave a parking space.

ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable) > Noroxus 08/03/2013 at 18:04

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We're not all terrible.

Just mostly all.

RyanFrew > Colin Leslie 08/04/2013 at 16:51

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Ha, I'm also from Akron, living in Cincinnati. Honestly think they have the worst drivers in the country. Rubbernecking on 71 is like a sport for the Cincinnatians.